October 2009
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Zombieland (15)
Posted 5th October 2009

Just as there are rules to surviving in Zombieland (Rule no.2: the double-tap), there are rules you must adhere to in order to make a good zombie movie. Rule no.1: gory zombie kills. Rule no.2: said zombies must pose a real and serious threat. Rule no.3: charismatic leads playing characters with depth that you care about. Rule no.4: guns, lots of guns (or more interestingly: weapons, lots of various weapons). Rule no.5: some sort of relevant and prescient social commentary. Zombieland adheres to all of these whilst adding its own singular twist to proceedings.

With no gentle introduction to this world known as Zombieland, we find ourselves dropped right into the maelstrom of the unfolding chaos. The globe (or America at least, as that’s all we see) has been overrun by fast-moving (oh just accept it Romero-shuffle lovers) zombies in pretty short shrift. Only the brave and the bold have survived this swift slaughtering. Well, the brave, the bold and Columbus (played-to-perfection by Jesse Eisenberg, who has really established himself now as a serious contender for Michael Cera’s geeky ‘n’ neurotic crown); our narrator and ostensible lead character for this road trip through hell-on-Earth. He may have the “guts of a guppy”, but his propensity to run and hide and follow his strict set of rules has kept him alive when almost everyone else has become a “human Happy Meal”. Tallahassee (a wonderful Woody Harrelson, words can’t describe), meanwhile, is his ultimate antithesis.

A zombie-slayin’ badass of epic proportions (“My mother always told me someday I’d be good at somethin’, I don’t think she coulda guessed that that somethin’ would be zombie-killin’”), Tallahassee is on a single-minded search to find the elusive last Twinkie left on Earth. Any zombie foolish enough to stand in the way of his mission gets the same unwavering treatment: brain-damage by nearest implement-to-hand.  As you’d imagine, comedic sparks fly when these unlikely lads cross paths and decide to team-up. Throw in grifter-sisters Wichita (Superbad’s Emma Stone who, on this performance at least, could be making a serious play for Anna Faris’ place as Hollywood’s no.1 fit ‘n’ funny young comedienne sometime soon) and Little Rock (a growing-up horrifically-fast Abigail Breslin – Signs / Little Miss Sunshine) somewhere along the way, and you have the perfect formula for a dynamic action-horror-comedy that delivers on every level.

Now you might hear some people describing Zombieland as an Americanised Shaun of the Dead. Which is lazy journalism (hence why I’m utilising the synopsis-soundbite too, I am a lazy and a journo after all), but not strictly that true and actually somewhat of a disservice to this inventive monster-mash. Yes it’s a rom-zom-com on some level and possibly indebted in some subconscious way to its Brit predecessor, but Z-land is actually entirely its own construct, the product of two twisted-and-talented creative minds to watch in Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (your upcoming take on Spidey villain Venom is very eagerly anticipated on this evidence) and deserves to be seen solely on its own merits.

Merits such as more belly laughs in its first five minutes than most straight comedies can muster in their entire running time. It’s a relentless pace which Zombieland manages to maintain right the way to its pitch-perfect end (more of which in a couple of merits). Merits such as more hardcore goretastic moments than many lesser zombie movies put-together. The effects quality is so good that it would even make masters of the craft Tom Savini and Gregory Nicotero proud and the zombie kills are so creative that it makes Final Destination(s) demises look positively simplistic by comparison. Merits such as the superior slo-mo opening credits that recalls the wonder of Watchmen’s whilst also equalling it for cleverness and quality. Merits such as genius Gavin & Stacey-ish lines of everyday throwaway meaningless dialogue like: “I hate coconut. Not the taste, but the consistency”. Merits such as the Adventureland-set actiontacular overblown Woo-ish ending that unfolds like House of the Dead writ large. So much so that, bar the first-person viewpoint, this 15-minute set-piece arguably stands as the first really good computer game-to-film adaptation (not that the competition is particularly fierce mind).

Of course comparisons to Shaun are hardly an insult and this inevitable association does happen to ring true on several counts: quality, innovation and post-modernism. For without a splatter of a doubt this is the most innovative high-concept twist on the zombpocalypse since Shaun, the most enjoyable and funniest mainstream zombie-take since Shaun and the best use of post-modernism in a zombie pic since Shaun (and all this despite the release of the utterly demented Norwegian Nazi zombie flick Dead Snow on DVD a few weeks back – see my September 4th blog). Zombieland knows you’ve seen countless zombie movies, just as Zombieland’s survivors have seen countless zombie movies (or at least know their rules). Hence their survival. Anyone oblivious to these has been munched on long ago. And, let’s face it, if you’re not au fait with the rules for survival (rule no.1: cardio), then you deserve to be munched anyway.

But the postmodernism doesn’t stop there. Oh no indeedy. It is the bedrock on which Zombieland has been built. For evidence I point you in the direction of the Ferris-ish fourth-wall breaking interactive voiceover courtesy of the nerdy ‘n’ neurotic Columbus, the blink-and-you’ll-miss-them on-screen rules captions that appear at key points when their application is most apparent and the unadulterated amount of dense background humour that’s gonna take at lease a second watch to catch it all, as all good richly-detailed comedies should (prime example: Airplane!). As if this bounty of riches wasn’t enough, just you wait for the brain-boggling Being John Malkovich-esque celebrity cameo (and don’t let anyone spoil it for you. Lest they do, you deserve Government sanction to go all medieval on their asses) at the films mid-point. Not only does it save the film from the danger of flagging during this section, it also perfectly bridges the set-up and the pay-off whilst also standing apart as a pure piece of (post-modern) cinematic perfection. And there I was thinking Tarantino had 2009’s scene of the year all sewn up...

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