October 2009
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Colin (18)
Printed 21st October 2009

Another day, another zombie movie. Colin is altogether a different strain though. It is an ambitious, near-zero budget, none-more-so British, apocalyptic zombie-horror, told in its entirety from the walking dead’s perspective.

Colin (Robert Peep Show Webb-lookalike Alastair Kirton, in an impressive physical performance) is bitten by a zombie and dies, only to rise again an undead thing. So begins a ramshackle ramble through the wild streets of London in search of... something, as civilisation crumbles all around him.

It almost seems unfair, and I do feel a little guilt, in criticising a film that was shot on a camcorder for only £45 (allegedly). In its own way it is a staggering achievement. What it isn’t, however, is great cinema. Now, you can excuse the over-abundance of shaky-cam and the poor lighting conditions and the poor audio quality and the ropey acting and the choppy editing. After all, this. Is a film. Made on a budget. Of £45.

What you can’t excuse though are core issues with story (I’m sorry, fast-moving zombies I can abide but I just can’t get on board with human emotions and memories ascribed to a braindead thing. The operative word here being braindead), set-pieces that fail spectacularly (the home siege/the pub basement/a contrived family reunion) and the fact it long outstays its welcome. As a short film that ends at the family home or perhaps as a series of webisodes, this might have passed muster. As a 97-minute feature film? Hells no.

Ultimately, and realistically, Colin is probably about as good as any cheap-as-chips student-type production has any right to be though. And worthy of a look-see for interest’s sake. Had this been a final year submission, you’d probably be looking at a 1:1. As an entertaining and engaging genre pic, just the **. The “Romeroesque” hype is a bit beyond as well, unless of course they mean Diary of the Dead quality, rather than any of his original genre-defining Z-trilogy quality?

**