July 2007
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Transformers (12A)
Published 25th July 2007

Writing a review from the first person perspective is not normally the done thing. But then this is Transformers™ and I’m a fanboy so this counts as an exception. Firstly, I have to get a confession off my chest: I was a doubter during the pre-release hype, bitching and griping about the little changes that they appeared to be making to my beloved Transformers™ (Bumblebee™ isn’t a Beetle; robots with lips; Optimus Prime® has flames!). But I’m pleased to report that I’ve never been so happy to be proved wrong.

Yes, some of those gripes still stand (c’mon, lips on a metal mechanised robot are a bit silly aren’t they?) but they pale in comparison to the total product. It might sound slightly hyperbolic to say but Transformers™ is quite conceivably the most amazing summer spectacle ever.

Set in a hyper-real world where even the computer geeks look like supermodels (Rachael Taylor – See No Evil), Transformers™ is the epic story of war waging, gigantic robot aliens and when that battle is brought to Earth. But it’s the grounding of something so fantastical in a comical coming-of-age story that makes this movie work quite so well. The teenager coming-of-age in this tale is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf – I, Robot aka The Beef); average, awkward and consumed with your typical teen issues – school, girls, friends, girls, cars and girls.

Unaware of the important role he has to play in the Transformers™ eternal war, Sam and the object of his affections Mikaela (Megan Fox – Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen) find themselves thrown headfirst into the middle of the struggle between the heroic Autobots® and the evil Decepticons®, fighting not only for their own survival but that of the whole human race.

Filled to retina-scorching level with out-of-this-world special effects, eardrum-assaulting levels of booming bass sound and more spectacular action set-pieces than a fleet of Pirates flicks or a dozen Die Hard’s, Transformers™ is your quintessential big budget blockbuster. Big, brash and loud, it is also indelibly a Michael Bay movie, finding time to showcase his trademarked shots – plenty of orange hues/numerous shots of the sunset, kinetic car chases, ridiculous overuse of slo-mo, his favoured “hero shot” as the camera pans 360-degrees around its subject – as well as some singular fancy flourishes – his surely now-patented whirly shoot ‘em up.

Also offering, arguably, the best effects ever rendered on screen (?!) you’ll really believe a giant 40-foot robot can transform. Breathtaking each and every time a car/tank/plane/truck changes to robot and back again it never gets old, especially when accompanied – subtly – by that cool signature transforming sound. But it’s not just about the robots, Transformers™ featuring more shit blown to smithereens on-screen, more shaky-cam chases and more Armageddon brought to the downtown streets of Los Angeles than ever before. If it’s not the best effects ever seen, then they surely must be the most mind-blowing and envelope-pushing since the groundbreaking morphing technique used in James Cameron’s T2 or the photorealistic dinosaurs offered in Spielberg’s JP (who incidentally is a producer here). Transformers™ truly sets the new benchmark for all to equal.

But as admittedly astonishing as these effects are, it’s the human side of this saga that truly impresses.

Scripted by J.J. Abrams' regular cohorts Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (from a story by John Rogers), it’s clear that as much importance was placed on developing the plot and dialogue as designing the technology to realise the robots in disguise as live-action. A human story set against a fantastical backdrop, the characters in Transformers™ consistently ring true and honest whilst the specifics of the globe-trotting story in which they’re set generally stays within the confines of believability. Yes, it’s a little hokey at times, especially concerning the bland and cliché GI Joes (played by Josh Duhamel – Paradise Lost, Tyrese Gibson – Four Brothers and Amaury Nolasco – TV’s Prison Break) returning from Qatar, but the human side ultimately always seems grounded in reality.

It helps that the majority of the screen-time is spent with the phenomenally talented The Beef. Possessing that charming everyman quality that all the most likeable heroes have, The Beef’s Sam Witwicky is a sheltered-but-likeable boy that you can’t help rooting for. Always owning the screen, even when juxtaposed with a giant transforming robot or a scantily-clad foxy lady (sorry Megan, I couldn’t resist), it’s scary just how big a star this kid seems destined to be, especially with Spielberg set on shepherding him to superstardom – having had a hand in his casting for surprise hit Disturbia (due here in September) and choosing him as Indy’s new sidekick for the forthcoming fourth whip-cracking adventure. Holding her own however, with probably the second-most screen time after the Beef, is the largely unknown Megan Fox. Playing Mikaela as resourceful and ballsy, with real layers to her character instead of being just the token eye-candy, there is clearly “more than meets the eye” to this emerging talent.

Undoubtedly the movie of the summer, Transformers™ is the summer spectacle to end all summer spectacles and the realisation of a million childhood fantasies. Littered with nice historical nods for Transformers™ devotees, it also doesn’t demand that the uninitiated knows too much of the inherent knowledge to be able to understand and enjoy the epic events that unfold. It’s surely set to be a behemoth and the beginning of a new franchise. And I for one am ecstatically happy.

*****

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