August 2009
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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (15)
Posted 6th August 2009

The latest internet phenomenon (the teaser trailer became a viral sensation scoring over a million hits on MTV.com and youtube apiece) and the latest in a long line of versus flicks (King Kong vs. Godzilla, Freddy vs. Jason, Alien vs. Predator, Monsters vs. Aliens to name a few), Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus swims into the Apollo Piccadilly Circus in London on a limited edition special cinema run.

But is it actually any good or is it nothing more than a ridiculous and eye-catching title, superbly silly premise and wickedly entertaining one-minute sound bite (see link above)? Well, it features a frickin’ shark (without laser beams attached to its head, unfortunately) leaping out of the sea and chomping down on an aeroplane! A-maz-ing. Need I say more?

But seriously, no, it’s not any good. It’s just too full of wooden (over)acting out of clichéd and cringe-worthy lines whilst pouring brightly coloured liquids from test tubes to beakers and looking at information on a computer screen all serious like, instead of the required and desired monster-on-monster or monster-devouring-man action. That said once the all too short titanic tussle gets going it is great, as the giant octo repeatedly tries to squish the life out of the megalodon whilst he repeatedly wriggles free by chowing down on some squid sushi. Hilarious and tedious in equal measure. Despite this sheer pulse-raising excitement of these two titans of the sea clashing in an immense wrestling match (ahem), it doesn’t come close to the big daddy of sea scraps however: Tiger Shark vs. zombie in Lucio Fulci’s Zombie Flesh Eaters. But then not much does. That’s an underwater sea scuffle to go out your way to see. Unlike this.

I think the problem was though that I was entirely sober and alone when I watched this debacle unfold. Lesson learnt there. I guess if you’re going to attempt to enjoy this kinda trash, copious amounts of alcohol as well as the addition of equally drunk company required to point-and-laugh and make fun. Then this might actually make an enjoyable collective viewing experience and add a couple stars to the rating? Alright so I’m clutching at straws and attempting to be generous...

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